Saturday, December 22, 2012

Silas Sings


Last night was the Christmas program for Siley's pre-school.

It was mayhem "backstage" before the show; short, excited, outbursty mayhem.

Then they all marched in wearing their Christmas colors. The girls had on taffeta bubble skirts and flouncy dresses and cable-knit tights. Silas rocked a half-zip. All afternoon I would reach over and nonchalantly unzip it just a little and sure enough, he'd zip it back up. A turtle in his shell. I get it, it's cozier that way. If there's one thing I understand, it's cozy.

My tiny little baby was so stinking cute up front. I couldn't even take it.
He kept licking his lips. Licking his lips.

We were waving like mad but he couldn't track us, so he kept scanning the room, licking those puckery-perfect lips.

A tiny piece of my heart chipped off while his eyes tried to find us. You don't even want to know how close I came to making a scene, because this boy needed to find us. I remembered all the days he looked at us without seeing us and now we're his and he's ours and I needed him to be sure that we were there, yelling just for him.


In the meantime, he licked.
Over and over and over.

I chapped just watching him.

He sang every song and did all the motions. I only had eyes for him.

I don't know how he has transformed into this tiny little man who follows directions and participates like it's his job in life. I think it has something to do with the ladies who choose every day to put on cardigans and cute shoes and go to their job, where very short people race around in circles and tell them nonsense.

And God. I think the transformation has something to do with Him, too.

Sidenote: Silas was gifted with a trial-size gift pack of watermelon-scented Thomas the Train personal hygiene products. He took the bottle of bright red "hair gel" for show-and-tell yesterday. His teacher let him put some in his hair for a demonstration to his classmates.

The Candy Land castle in Heaven is reserved for these women and those like them. Of that I am certain.

Silas rocked the big costume change whilst simultaneously singing and licking his lips.

It pinched my heart up.

I'm the one who gets to hold his hand on every sidewalk. He asks me to scratch his back and "squish" his ears (it's a long story). He asks me every single night "Will you get me after morning?" even though he gets himself up "after morning" and we all darn well know it.



What I'm trying to say is, I'm the luckiest Mom in the land. I'll be honest, watching all those cute Christmas kiddos, I felt sort of bad for all of the other Mamas who don't know the distinct privilege of being Silas's Mommy. He's just the stinking cutest. You understand.

He's wild and wiry and yes, tonight he identified the animals in the nativity as "the moose and the duck", but he's full-on Martin. One of us. He's come so far and sometimes I just need to sit with that thought and let it sink down a little deeper.

Love you Silas. So super proud of you and your fancy singing show.






39 comments:

  1. So did he find you? What his reaction when he found you?
    Merry Christmas to Silas and his family!

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  2. He's Beautiful! May you have a very Blessed Christmas~Kim

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  3. He truly is 100% Martin and 100% ours.
    Si-Pie I'm too am proud of you and wish I could have been among the crowd as you scanned it, chapped lips and all. One of these days I hope 'You Keisha' will be able to fly in for your performance and make a grand entrance just for you buddy. Love you bunches and bunches, and a hug around the neck. xox

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  4. Your son has the biggest most beautiful brown eyes and an adoring Mom...who could ask for anything more?

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  5. I DO understand! He is the most precious boy! Loving the zipped-up half zip and the way he's juggling that cookie and cup. Mad skillz, baby, mad skills.

    Merry Christmas to the Martin fam!!! :)

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  6. It's completely understandable why you're the luckiest mom in the world. His eyelashes alone would land you in the spot.

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  7. He is beautiful and you are blessed. As I read your blog, I could FEEL how proud you are of Silas. Merry Chriatmas to you and your beautiful family!

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  8. Be still, my heart. That lip licking caught on camera is enough to make my knees weak. Sweet, sweet boy with a sweet, sweet family.

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  9. Sweet Siley. God has the most to do with transformations, but I think his loving mama had a lot to do with it too! Of course, God picked you to be his mama, so there He is again :)

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  10. I am always amazed how God knit my husband and myself into our son, in another woman's womb. He just fits. And he is ours. I get that! ( and *I* am the luckiest mama live, too!)

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  11. LOVE!!!!!!!! Had to read parts of this to my hubby. We remember those days well....and now our youngest man-child is 17!

    How blessed all of you are to be 100% Martin!

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  12. Oh my goodness!!! He is too stinkin much!!!! Yes we are allllll jealous that you get to be his mommy and thankful too - He is a perfect fit for you!!!

    Have a super awesome Christmas!!!!

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  13. I have to say that my four are pretty stinking cute as well. However, if I had to hand pick a cute kid to be my own, this Silas of yours would be it. I love those big brown eyes and his lips. We don't have lips in our house (well, we do, but they don't show up) so whenever I see a child with lips the green-eyed monster comes around. So very, very cute. Oh, and I had a little guy who licked his lips constantly from about age 1 to 8 and he had a permanent red mark. We bought stock in Vaseline! It didn't work but I have so, so many pictures of him with his chapped lips. Darn cute, I tell ya!

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  14. He is so precious. I got anxious just thinking about him looking for you!

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  15. Merry Christmas, Sweet Boy. Such a Blessed family.

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  16. i totally understand.
    he is one precious and blessed little man.

    Merry Christmas friend. :)

    xoxo

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  17. Those Silas eyes. Who could resist?
    There's nothing like a precious preschool Christmas program to make melted hearts even more melty.
    Christmas love and peace and joy to the whole Martin gang!

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  18. So so sweet ... melting my heart sweet. Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family.

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  19. Oh my word - the antlers and the lip licking - precious. And I think I cry reading 70% of your blog posts.

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  20. Oh my. Could eat this post up in lieu of eating Siley up!

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  21. He is a STAR!! I think he was licking his lips in anticipation for the cookies at the end of the show. Gee and Papaw loves you Pilot!

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  22. "now we're his and he's ours" - love it! He is just cuteness...

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  23. Overwhelmed with cuteness and LOL about his personal hygiene products and hair gel demonstration! Hilarious! Merry Christmas, Shiny! xo

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  24. This is, perhaps, my most favorite post of all.

    xoxo

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  25. What a wonderful and heartwarming post- thank you for sharing these adorable and special children with us! I LOVE it when parents celebrate the uniqueness that is their kids!

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  26. i read stuff like this, shipwrecked, and cling to those floating splinters of hope. it makes my heart rejoice for your little gains and sweeping transformations, and makes me think: someday. maybe a soonish someday, even.

    but then also God checks my heart and i know that even if someday never happens, or at least not in the way i'm desperate for, this little person is still every bit mine to love and nurture and cheer on. and so tomorrow i begin again.

    love you.

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  27. Be still my heart Siley, you are so darn cute and your momma thinks you are the cats meow!!! Proud of you and I hear you were great at your Christmas program!
    Sincerely,
    Your mommy's friend, Heather

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  28. I have to agree with you. He is THE cutest.

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  29. God has given you a delightful and divine gift of writing. You glorify Him in capturing His daily blessings in the moments of living. Please write a book. The world needs to read your snapshots of the heart.

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  30. Oh I just loved this. I felt the exact same way at a preschool Christmas program in a church on Friday. . ."[she's] just the stinking cutest. You understand." too. And yes, I do understand. They are all the stinking cutest, because they're our own. Love.

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  31. As one of those ladies who puts on a cardigan and cute shoes (do we all dress the same way? ) and go to my job where very short people race around in circles and tell me nonsense (I do know that that is the same in every school!), I loved this post! Embrace these years full of cuteness and make-believe and give that Silas a hug from me.

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  32. This made me cry...you have a tendency to do that you know.

    Thank you, Shannan for sharing your life with us. Thank you for your words that drip poetry. Thanks for pushing us to believe harder and stronger.

    Merry Christmas, friend.

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  33. You are one lucky mom for sure! He is adorable! Happy Holidays! Traci

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