Sunday, December 2, 2012

TMI


Silas passed his illness on to Mama and I gotta tell you, I'm no longer seeing the silver lining. You can't possibly imagine the fun this bug has cost me.

I'm the girl who always got sick as a kid, then got mono after college and thought I'd never be the same again, then lapsed into a suspicious healthfulness in early adulthood, only to hit the bricks at the age of 35, whereupon I was seized with three dread diseases over the course of 10 months.

True, this bout doesn't rival the last one, but it's a solid 6 on the Richter scale. I look like I'm hiding walnuts in my neck. And I know that's a terrible description and yes, it would be more meaningful if it made just a little bit of sense. The truth remains. You have never seen glands so large. I feared that they might burst in my sleep. (Has anyone heard of spontaneous gland rupture? Don't answer that.)

Cory took a photo earlier today, when they weren't even at their peak. You don't even want to see the picture. You can't handle the glands.

Okay, fine.  Never say I don't love you.

After my own personal March Madness 2012, I planned to get a flu shot this year for the first time...but hadn't gotten around to it yet.

The good news is, this isn't the flu. There's still time to get the flu! There's still time to make good use of a flu shot! Hurrah!

I drove all shivery and achey-jointed to the doctor on Friday, very sure I had strep. Negative. Flu? Nah. What I have is called "The Crud". That's the scientific diagnosis I received for a mere $70 and I'm not even playing. I went home cold and hot and poorer and unmedicated, rueing the day that doctors stopped making house calls and taking payment in handicrafts or root vegetables. I was so very woeful.

The boston cream doughnut and hot chocolate helped a little.

That's the weird part - my appetite has remained large and in-charge through the duration of my illness.

Cory, having stepped up to the plate in a major way, has kept me nourished via Taco Bell runs (there may have been a better way to word that) and microwaved soup. He has delivered cups of hot tea, clementines, and Tylenol that didn't come close to cracking my fever. (In the words of a dear friend, "You're the only old lady I know who still gets fevers!" Pass the baby aspirin.) We hit a low point when he came home from Kroger with liquid Nyquil - green liquid Nyquil. Even Cory can't be awesome all the time. (His defense, "It was right there on the end! It was on sale! This is what I think of when I think of Nyquil!") (Nyquil people? You may want to dial up PR if your most repulsive product is what springs to mind when someone thinks of your brand. Or maybe it's just Cory.) Greenishness aside, I slept better last night, though all of my dreams still revolved around telling other people how bad my throat hurt.

The kids have taken turns running into my bedroom to give me important updates like, "Silas is shaking his booty!" or "Ruby stepped on Charles!"

Calvin arrived last night in his worker guy shirt/doctor's coat and gave me a proper medical exam. He couldn't give me a diagnosis either, as he was "too busy with the medicaids". He read me some random verses from his Bible and begged for illness-related errands, so I sent him for a box of tissues and had him put a jar of applesauce in the friedge. He also brought me the beanie baby with the shamrock (for luck) and the one with the heart (because he misses me) and his referral picture, which is so dang precious that I have no choice but to share it with all of you.



Ruby arrives now and then to pet my hair and hug me.

Me: Do I smell kinda stinky?
Rubes: Um, yes. A little bit. (keeps hugging me)

Silas scratches my back and tells me to take medicine. He also gave me his beloved key-light. "You can keep it. You can share it with your honey."

I miss my family. I don't like being out of the loop. Also? I really can't handle the thought of passing this along to any more of them.

So I'm mostly holed up, by my lonesome.

Unlike last time, when I was so close to death's door that I couldn't even watch TV for six days straight, I've gotten caught up on some strange interesting programming. I watched this, this, this, and the first two episodes of this.

Today, I forged my re-entry into civilization by simply going downstairs. I showered and did laundry. I drank a little fizz. I threw some more bling on the tree.

Tomorrow, all bets are off. Sick or well, the day will be ready for me.

Wish me luck.


32 comments:

  1. Being sick is the pits. I hope you feel better soon. I love the way your little ones are taking care of you. Oh, I love the taste of the green NyQuil. I don't like the red kind.
    Blessings,
    Lorilee

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  2. OH.I.AM.SO.SORRY! Praying for great rest tonight....with or without the 'gaggy green stuff'.

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  4. I hope tomorrow brings a respite from "the CRUD!!" (That sounds like an awesome scifi scary movie from the 60's - too bad it's not.) My WeeMan just came through a battle with it this week, so I know it really stinks. Here's to better days ahead!

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  5. I hate that you're sick. Praying you're better soon!

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    1. And those pictures of Calvin are too cute.

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  6. Sorry you got the crud. Sounds terrible. My daughter coughed all night long. This morning I dug around the cabinets and found some cough medicine. Thank the Lord. It seems to be working.

    I'll be praying your glands go back to normal and the germs leave your home for good this season. I'm about the get the flu shot too and I'm hoping I won't be too late.

    Feel better and take good care of yourself.
    ~FringeGirl

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  7. Typically, when I am reading you, I have a witty banter happening at the stem of my brain. My brain stem if you will. I was full of funny quips and brilliant insight. And then I clicked on all your links for television. HAHA I can't even focus. Best selection ever.

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  8. You look as bad as I did in 2008 and in 2010 I came down with the MUMPS. YES mam I was sick, SWOLLEN with a fat face and a throat that would not hardly swallow and a jaw line that was fat as it could be. SO I do feel bad for you. VERY bad. REST drink lots of juice, liquid, warm broth, 7up and REST more.

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  9. Hope you feel better. Calvin looks like Cory. Not many people know that Taco Bell is medicinal. Glad you do. Nothing smells as good as mommy's do bad. Does that make sense? Hope you feel better. Chardonnay after littles are put to bed leads to.....feeling much better and then some! XoXo

    Lisa in Pasadena

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  10. Your glands are impressive, and I hope you feel better!!

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  11. I hope you feel better soon.
    Very, very soon.
    Laughed out loud about the donut being of some help ; )

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  12. You're a braver woman than me, I rarely post a photo of myself on a good day. No one (that I cook for or sleep in the same bed with) would dare take a picture when I'm sick. Feel better, and maybe try some sappy Christmas movies instead of that heavy Frontline stuff :)
    Gloria

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  13. i'm sorry. i really am. if it makes you feel less alone, we went to the doctor/er 14 times in two weeks last month! 'tis the season. boo, sad face, sad face. i really hope and hope and pray and pray that you are better soon. at least you are making extra room for crack bark

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  14. Ewe the ugly is lurking these days my daughter and grandson are just as sick.Get well soon lots of vitamin C,D and zinc may help at this point to lesson the duration.Rest!

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  15. Oh girlie, I DO hope you feel better. I feel like I have been sharing TMI on my blog for the entire fall season! OY. My girl, my son, me, my son, my girl, my girl. Those are our many dr. visits, 2 pinched nerves, and a partridge in a pair tree. Last time we were there, the nurse said, "Again?" Yep, it's us, the family that's putting your kids through college! LOL On some level, it comforts me to hear a "big girl" list the awfulness of it all. It's been hard to give my daughter sympathy because she's been sick so much that I just don't know which end is up anymore. But... hearing this from you somehow validates all of her complaints. Oh yeah, I know... you're saying, "You're welcome Sal -- so glad I could help." So sorry. Feel better sweet Friend. ~Sal

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  16. Okay. I always tell people to boil the toothbrushes...b/c throwing them away? who knows at what point in the illness to do that exactly? so we boil frequently as well as the obvious hand washing and not touching mouth, etc.
    You can surely re-infect yourself :/
    I'm SO sorry for you and hope the discomfort of all kinds high-tails it out of your house stat!
    Taco Bell runs (shaking my head) that was a good one!
    TMI tuesday might be fun?

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  17. Sorry you're sick. :( Hope you wake up all better.

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  18. Luck, girlfriend. No good at all. But at least its now and not Christmas, right? Your littles melt my heart with all their lovin on you. Hope you rock tomorrow's socks off. Hang in there. Hugs.

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  19. Feel better Shannon! I knew something must be up when you didn't show up in my in box for days! Love your blog and love your heart, thanks for sharing.

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  20. Hope you feel better soon! Prayers your way.

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  21. First I hope you are on the mend because it is so hard to be sick with shorties in the house and second get in the shower. You will smell better :), feel fresh and because of the first two things you will actually feel more well. I have been vomiting sick and practically had to crawl to the shower but always feel better when I do. My sister with lay around in jammies with the sweaty, oily bedhead and she takes longer get well and I'm convinced it's because she doesn't feel better because she isn't getting fresh and scrubbed which is the first step to feeling better.

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    1. Haha! I only skipped a shower on Friday. I can skip one day in extreme circumstances, but no more than one. I can't TAKE it!

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  22. When I see you in my email I know I'm going to smile and most likely laugh and share what you've written. Even reading all the comments from the crazy wonderful people who know you makes me smile.
    I am sorry to hear that you are so sick. Don't push yourself too soon girlie, get better. I'm praying for you this a.m.

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  23. I'm so sorry you're sick. However, "Taco Bell runs" made me literally LOL! Hope you're better soon.

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  24. FEEL BETTER!
    those referral pictures are the bomb.com.

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  25. Wish I could have been closer to take over the cleaning and cooking, and of course the baby sitting!! But probably not as much as you did.

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  26. I know you don't know me, especially since I've never commented before and I'm just some random person from Idaho, but if you know a naturopath or someone who knows a naturopath, ask them about colloidal silver. That stuff is too good to be true! My last two viral bouts are notable because they were mere blips on the radar screen thanks to colloidal silver. Also, for throat relief...and this sounds crazy...drink some thyme tea. Changed my life. (http://www.bespokespices.com/thyme-tea.html)

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  27. I had a very similar sickness last year. I'm a law student & I was so miserable that I cried myself to sleep because my throat hurt so bad... Dr. didn't know what it was and, of course, I had to keep going to classes. My friends didn't think I was going to make it, but they didn't tell me until after I got substantially better. (about a week or two later) :) I looked horrible and felt horrible, and I didn't have a voice for weeks. I was certain it was strep, but no... Still don't know... Anyway, I'm hoping you're better by now. I love your blog! :)

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