Monday, January 7, 2013

The Day the MSM Died.

 
A typical afternoon at my house.

We fall through the door most Monday nights and it's already past bedtime, the natives are restless and the kitchen is a stinking hot mess.

We fell through tonight and as soon as the kids were in bed I went in to wash my face. That's my secret signal to myself that I'm really tired, that I need to be extra kind to myself, that I should perhaps consider a respectable bedtime. (It doesn't happen often.)

But of course tonight is Money Shot Monday.

So I clipped my bangs to the top of my head and rubbed Cetaphil in circles over my cheeks while I sorted through the day and plucked out what was best.

The truth is, Silas tagged not one, not two, but three different walls today with a rogue pencil nubbin. Two infractions occurred while he was "taking a break" for an unrelated offense. He spent the bulk of his day bossing me around like a squatty dictator, questioning every move I made, shouting "No snacks!" when I said or did something he disapproved of.

But there's more.

I also got to drink tea with a friend this morning. I got to read a whole chapter of a book.  I got to make cheesecake brownies. I got to fold a load of clean laundry in a room designated for just such a purpose - heated to 69 degrees with art hanging on the walls.

I got to see my people at church tonight. I got to tell them the truth - that sometimes the Holy Spirit makes me nervous. I had the privilege of being trusted and the greater privilege of trusting them back. I held the gift of acceptance as the truth fell from my lips, scarred and lovely, uncensored and plain-faced, no mascara or nothin'.

Of course, the only photos I managed today were a shot of the toy-strewn floor, one of a bag of wallpaper rolls, and a crazy-cool one of Silas and Howard. My money shots weren't really the money, if you know what I mean. (Let's be honest, almost no one has known what I mean since the very beginning of this MSM nonsense!)

I decided to push through my MSM apathy and here's why: I didn't want to bail out of my own party. I didn't want to admit that it's great in theory and a little stressful in practice. I didn't want people to think I'm quitting just because its popularity never busted out the skylights. I didn't want to dole out good reason to doubt my judgment. (haha - too late!)

Earlier today I was minding my own business when I was confronted plain-as-day with the sins of judgment and pride in my life. Man, I hate that.

And still, just 5 hours later, there I sat, loading photos to save a face that never needed saving.

So guess what happened?

All of the pictures safely made the transfer. I saw crazy-cool silas slide over into its file with my own two eyes.

And now? Poof! Gone.

I get it.

I get it.

Friends, MSM is officially on permanent hiatus, because it's great in theory but a little stressful in practice. When something I do is unpopular, my inclination is to keep doing it and maybe do it even louder. I think they call that stubbornness. (Or maybe foolishness, though I sure hope not.) I'm bailing out of my own party. And you should certainly doubt my judgment on a regular basis because I'm built of a whole lot of messed up stuff.

But I'll spend tomorrow and next Monday and the rest of my lifetime panning through the silt for one tiny knob of gold. I hope you'll stay here beside me with your knees in the mud.

I'm searching for wonder, remember? I'm begging for eyes that can see it. I'm full-on in love with my life right now, even the hard parts, even the parts that the shutter never grabs.

Yours tonight and always,
FPFG


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 And enter the giveaway (including a Kindle Fire!) here.



29 comments:

  1. I am glad you didn't bail! I love that picture.
    And I love you with your bangs clipped back.
    You are the picture of beauty.
    Here is to hoping the walls will remain unmarked tomorrow.
    Love, Becky

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  2. No worries.

    No need for the blog to be stressful. I've tried several things that just didn't catch on. That's life. We move on to bigger and better or maybe just different.

    Your posts always speak to our hearts and that's good, no matter the title or catchy topic.

    ~FringeGirl

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  3. heck my blog hasn't caught on and I have never in my life had a money shot. But i have you in my corner and now wanting to be a little sis. Lifes's good from where I sit.

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  4. i totally get msm. and i participated in my heart. and my favorite is when you share inane details of your evenings and comings and goings and hairdos. and what not. i love the what not. it's all money to me. monday or otherwise. :)

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  5. It's all money to me. Yes. What Lauren said.

    Love.

    Bye.

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  6. Bailing has been popular for decades. The Jews did it. The British did it. Babies do it every ten months (because whoever said women were pregnant for 9 months never carried one. Personally, my last child challenged me to a duel and stayed in an extra three weeks. Oh really. Who's laughing now? Your grounded!!) sorry. Anyway. When you stick after you know something ain't for you, it starts to waste away. It gives the sweats and the shivers and the illness of zero eye contact to those involved. Get out while you can, and hum a happy tune while you do it. High five sister.

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  7. I always loved MSM although I was never able to "get it together" and link up on time... I'm lame like that.

    Sorry your day was trying at times . I can relate.

    Together
    Everyone
    Achieves
    More

    Who knew Busey's words could ever be so perfect? I'm relating team to donating $1. Smart idea! Love the love.

    Hungry for salsa..too late and tired to try!

    Xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THANK YOU for inserting some Busey into the sitch. Sigh...I wish he could guest post for me! On Christmas Eve we went to McDonalds for dinner before church (true story) and while the kids were in the play maze, Cory and I were desperately trying to think of the acronym for Forgive.

      Finding
      Ourselves
      Really
      Giving
      I???
      Valuable
      E???

      STILL stuck on I and E. I should KNOW this, dangit! I love that he made the "R" into "Really". Atta boy!

      Delete
    2. LOL LOL!

      "In the know"- seems odd, but not to Busey! I ALSO wish he could guest post for you! I think you need to make contact. Seriously. You said your word for 2013 is "Wonder" correct? I wonder if you could get him and I think you can!

      Finding
      Ourselves
      Really
      Giving
      In The Know (or Intuition. Perhaps even "Informing")
      E= You got me there???

      I love that you and Cory were searching for this acronym at McD's Playland. Hilarity at its finest!

      Delete
  8. I loved msm too......but was always behind before I even got started. Never could seem to take the pic and load on a Monday. Your proof of msm may have seemed unpopular but it wasn't! Your challenge to find the bit of gold has seeped in our thoughts and hearts. Thank-you! :)
    And now, how is it you can make your kids orneriness sound so darn charming? And your laundry-folding sound like a treat?
    Oh, and my bangs get clipped back every night too. :)

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  9. "full on in love with life right now" . . . me, too, friend. Let's celebrate this, and pray we stay right here a lot while longer.

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  10. Girlfriend, I read your blog every single day. I rarely comment because I'm always reading it from my inbox, rather than online and I have loved your MSM , and every other. Your way with words ( and a lense) is nothing short of amazing and inspiring. Can the MSM if you want, but please, for the love, keep on coming here and telling your story. Thank you for keeping it real and giving us glimpses of glory.

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    Replies
    1. What Kris has said is exactly, precisely what I was thinking/feeling. Thank you Kris for putting it into words better than I ever could have.

      Delete
  11. I too really enjoyed MSM, but it is your words that move me the most. I think it is awesome that you are in love with your life right now. I I am almost there, and am working towards it, keeping my 'word' of passion in mind I hope to get there soon. I feel very blessed I have bloggers like you who help me put things in perspective just when I need it the most!

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  12. Grace, grace, there is always grace! Love your blog and msm but mostly your words! Do what works but one monday without a photo phffttt...forgiven! Just keep sharing. I'm out on a limp, donated :) my Christmas gift of money to the adoption and promised to memorize Romans with Ann Voskamp that was my MSM and nope no photo!

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  13. Like it or not, I feel like most of your posts are Money Shot Whatever Day - you take a picture, you write a beautiful corresponding piece, you relate the mundane to the heavenly, you smack me upside with new insight, you make me laugh, you make me cry, you help me see both more of myself and less of myself. Like someone said above - it's ALL money. You are such a gift.

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  14. Loving how you are in love with your life - even the hard parts. And isn't it good to let go of a commitment? Breathe easier, one less thing to think on this week!

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  15. I love your "every day" picture :-) it looks like ours.

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  16. I spend Monday in a big fog of denile that it's Monday. It's how I roll.

    xxoo

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  17. I too have scribbles on my wall to work on. I love that everyone is doing something fun on the floor in your picture.

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  18. I like you, and would like to be your friend in real life, and I know that might sound stalkerish. :) But you're one cool chic.

    Keep up the good work here. You are a breath of fresh air, even when your projects don't quite turn out as planned.

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  19. My dearest MSM,
    I can't believe you're really gone. You changed me for the better, and for that I thank you. Not a Monday will go by that I won't think of our sparkling money moments. And perhaps I'll post them anyways and link them to random FPFG posts and call them linky parties, just to be ornery. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you were so money and you didn't even know it.

    Like Paula Abdul, I'm forever your girl.

    RIP, MSM, RIP.

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  20. Please keep us posted on your friends adoption if that's ok??

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  21. I don't think there's anything funnier than that picture.
    I can hear the Hee-Haw song (yes, I know...),
    "Gloom, despair, and agony on me..."
    Lisa
    Yes, you can find it on youtube.

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  22. Woohoo! I am so proud of you. You have earned my Woman of Valor Award today for not only knowing what was best for you and your family, but actually doing it! Way to go!

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  23. I was always late to the party once I got brave enough to attend. Life has enough stress without us creating our own. I can say a fond farewell to MSM as long as you are still sharing your heart with us :)

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  24. Lady. (Do you like how I slipped that in there?) I am woefully behind on all things MSM because I am woefully behind on my life right now but I wanted to tell you that I really like you. And I really like that your afternoons look a lot like mine. And I think we should hang out.

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  25. Is that bubble packaging that Silas is playing with? My two children just so happened to receive a roll each from Santa Claus. Bubble packaging is so fun to pop and snap! People think our Santa is so different in what he brings to our kids. One year he brought all sorts of tape and the heavy duty tape dispenser to my daughter. Both kids got bedazzled staplers. Of course, those are some of their favorite gifts!

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