Sunday, February 24, 2013

We'll Show You A Good Time

We pulled into my Mom and Dad's drive on Friday night and as usual, I had the weekend planned. And as usual, the "plans" included a whole lot of doing almost nothing.

In OH for the weekend. Packed pajamas, one change of clothes, and 6 books. #priorities - FPFG via Twitter

I would read, loll, and only look presentable when it was mandatory. I would get some important work done and sleep my brains out.

Now it's Sunday night, we're back home, and  I have to tell you, the weekend got away from me.

I finished one book and started another. Lame.

Then there was our double date.

It's been in the works for months. And, it was our first date with this brave couple. They're newish friends and they're also old, old friends. It's complicated.

But we were all looking forward to it. My beloved La Fiesta was on the docket.

We walked in only to realize that we, uh, couldn't walk in. We couldn't even squeeze past the crowd to put our name in. And what that means is this: My secret love is getting too popular to love me back right. Makes me so mad.

We tried Logan's. Same luck.

We ended up at a pizza place. Pizza! (It was fantastic.) We had so much to talk about including but not limited to: Cory's past as a serial dater (he still denies this), garden variety adoption stuff, really difficult and gritty adoption stuff, parenting pre-schoolers with God complexes, parenting teenagers with teenager complexes, parenting teenagers when they have a girlfriend on Valentine's day...you get the point.

Somewhere around God complexes I noticed that Cory wasn't...engaging. He was completely silent. Teetering on the very fringes of rudeness.

Meanwhile, the other three of us were just warming up.

Cory rallied and muttered something like, "Coffee..." only it sounded like "Kfly" and that's when I remembered that my mom gave him something for a queasy stomach before we left for our Hot Double Date.

The good news? No quease.

The bad news? It was 8:30 and he could barefly keep his eyes open.

The worst news yet? I had zero sympathy. Well, maybe 5. But no more.

We took him to the Tim Horton's and threw a cup of coffee and a Boston Cream at him and situated ourselves right by the fireplace.

I thought he was mostly fixed.

Until I noticed that far-away look in his eye again.

And then...he was gone, folks.

Think this, with about 1,000% less neck support.

So we ignored him and kept on talking. For three more hours.

Every once in a while his lids snapped open and he would say something important about the 5 points of Calvinism or Cher's song "If I Could Turn Back Time" in a near whisper. Dude truly does love that song. But I'll be honest, I had hoped for more.

Short story long, the weekend wasn't what I had planned.

But it may have been better, in its own strange way, if for no other reason than the fact that my mom did a 23-second wheeze from laughing so hard when I replayed the ill-fated double date.

This right here is the story of my life, and probably yours, only yours hopefully enjoys fewer awkward Cher moments.

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22 comments:

  1. Definitely about died laughing at this. I CANNOT wait to see him next. Cher? Yes. Five points mid sleep? Yes! My weekend was spent grading and making our own version of the Harlem Shake. It involved grown girls in Disney Princess outfits (or as much as they could squeeze), Savannah hiding under my wedding dress, and Adam dancing with a tiara, necklace, and paintball mask on.

    However, this could very well be the highlight of my weekend.

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  2. I somehow typed barefly the other day instead of barely. It had never happened to me before...

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    1. Welcome to the club! You'll never be the same.

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  3. hahahahaha!! all I could think of was what a great sport your hubby was and how I can't believe you just kept that date right on going! that is definitely the best thing I've read all night. you got me headed to bed with a smile.

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  4. I half way expected there to be a link to my voice mail message hidden somewhere in this text.

    Imagine my relief.

    Next time I should be invited. Maybe that was the trouble in the first place.

    I love that E. As if you didn't already know.

    xxoo

    P.S.- Don't text and drive.

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  5. I really love your weekend story. LOVE the picture. I imagined it just like you told me to. Oh yes I did!
    I bet you did great talking even if Cory did not hold up his end of the bargain.
    I am glad he likes Cher.
    I have been listening to I can't cry Hard Enough over and over all night. Kaish and Gary are fast asleep and snoring and I am on listen number 123.
    I am glad you could hug your Mama.
    I hope your secret crush loves you again soon.
    You are someone wonderful to love.
    Absolutely wonderful.

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  6. Benadryl does it for me EVERYTIME. That stuff is like Kryptonite! You always have a way of making me laugh out loud though. Sorry Cory!

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  7. SO FUNNY! I can relate, but I was on Cory's end. Went on a cruise, took 2 Dramamine and my lights were out. I fell asleep during a show and woke up to my sister taking close ups of me. Embarrassing to say the least. Love your blog and sense of humor.

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  8. Oh how I laughed! This would totally be my husband! Girls on the other hand would have fought the "sleepiness", as we are accustomed to having to wake up for EVERYTHING! Just too funny.

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  9. Perfection. Although, Cory, Turn Back Time? REALLY!?!?!

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  10. I believe, based on the aligning of my facebook universe with my blog reading, that I know your brave double-daters (went to school with S.) Couldn't be a better couple to have your husband fall asleep with!

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  11. Totally laughed out loud!! I don't even know you, but the idea of this dead asleep hubby in the middle of Tim Horton's, coming to just to spout off theology OR defend 90s (butt-exposed) Cher tunes is just SO funny! Also, because I never comment, now seems like a good time to tell you that it was just a few posts ago that I realized your name is Shannan... that's my best friend's name/spelling. So naturally now I love you even more.

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  12. Oh my goodness, I think I know EXACTLY what he took and it does the same thing to me! I was awake on our couch and couldn't move a muscle or even open my eyes...I thought I was dying! But the nausea was gone, which was a huge relief. But I so sympathize!

    I need something Lisa Leonard. A late Valentine to myself, perhaps? I think so.

    ps, your title made me start singing..."I'm a picker, I'm a grinner..." :) Thus I didn't see the Cher coming. My fav Cher song (Oh yes, I have one.) is the one with the computer-y voice..."Do you believe in life after love, after love, after love..." Can we still be friends?

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    Replies
    1. I am DYING here. That is truthfully his favorite Cher song, too. I can't wait for him to see this! haha!!

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  13. Thank you LORD for a great laugh on a Monday morning! Truly a joy to read your blog!!!

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  14. Isn't that just how it always goes?! If we were finally out and my husband came down with something, I'd do the same thing. You never know when you're going to get a babysitter again, so you must seize the night.

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  15. glad my life isn't so weird after all:)

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  16. So he just slept in his chair at Hortons?

    Since Brad works nights, we have those types of occasions semi regularly. The other day I didn't realize how tired he was (takes him a good day or so to transfer back from nights to days) and asked "seriously?! Come on!" And then told him he had narcolepsy.

    What did your mom give Cory? A sleeping pill?

    I assumed La Fiesta has become the rage due to your blogging about it? If I owned that place, I'd have a framed photo of you eating chips. Then shot two would be you eating an enchilada. Three... Margarita. A whole study. Good for biz!

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  17. Pahaha. My husband falls asleep at night mid-sentence all. the. time. But he's never fallen asleep on a date before. Thanks for turning it into hilariousity for us though! I laughed good n' hard.

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  18. HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!

    My husband just gets up and goes right to bed. Waving, "Goodnightfolks!"

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  19. I don't always read what someone else writes in their comment, but I couldn't help but read Tina..three people up above me. I'm with her. I totally think La Fiesta should have your picture with a margarita and some chips and salsa.

    cory is a total trooper for going on a double date with newish old friends when he didn't feel good.

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